Two Blind Birds on a Date
by moondragon23
Summary: Shawn is bored and Carlton is lonely and both of them are making Juliet's and Gus' lives miserable. To solve all of their problems, Juliet comes up with the idea of setting Shawn and Carlton up on a blind date. It's a recipe ripe for disaster unless the two stubborn men can settle their differences and give in to the sexual tension brewing between them.


**I do not own Psych or any of its characters. All other publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. **

**Merry Christmas everyone! This is actually a long overdue birthday fic for copyallcatsandacrobats. Sorry it is so late and happy belated birthday. I hope you like it.**

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><p>Juliet watched as her partner stalked over to the coffee maker for his third cup of the day. Neither of them enjoyed being stuck at their desks doing paperwork but Carlton was extra grouchy today. She guessed his date the night before hadn't gone well.<p>

Looking away from her partner's retreating back, she saw Gus heading for her desk. "Hi, Gus," she said with a smile. She could use a break herself and she enjoyed talking with the pharmaceutical rep. "What are you doing here?"

"Shawn said he 'sensed' you guys would have a case for us," Gus said.

Juliet shook her head. "Not today. We're just doing paperwork." She looked around the station. "Where is Shawn?"

"Spencer!"

Gus sighed. "You have to ask?"

They both turned towards the break room. Shawn had interrupted Carlton in his quest for more caffeine. She couldn't see her partner's face, but going from Shawn's smirk and the tightness of her partner's shoulders, she could imagine the scowl upon it.

"I don't know why he always has to antagonize Lassiter but I'm glad for the break," Gus grumbled. "Shawn has been driving me crazy."

"Carlton has been getting on my nerves too," Juliet admitted. "He actually snapped at me for typing too loud and yelled at McNab because his coffee didn't have enough sugar in it."

Carlton turned around and shouted at Shawn. Yup, there was that scowl. Juliet watched as the psychic stepped closer to Carlton. Her partner's expression didn't change but he clenched and flexed his hand, almost as if he couldn't decide whether he wanted to hit Shawn or grab him.

Gus shook his head. "Shawn's playing with fire today. He'll be lucky to walk out of here in one piece, if Lassiter doesn't throw him out first."

"Carlton wouldn't actually hurt Shawn," Juliet said.

"He's threatened to often enough," Gus muttered.

Carlton shoved Shawn, forcing him back a few steps. As soon as he caught his balance, the younger man was right back in the detective's face.

"Carlton had a date last night and I'm guessing it didn't go well." Juliet lowered her voice. "Don't tell anyone I said this, but I think he's lonely and the constant rejection hurts. That's why he's been lashing out at everyone the last few weeks."

"I guess I can sympathize," Gus said. "I haven't had much luck on dates myself lately."

Juliet reached out and took his hand. "I can't imagine why. You're a great guy."

"You think so?" He glanced over at her and she suddenly noticed how close they were standing. She looked away nervously. Gus cleared his throat and took a step back. "Well, Shawn doesn't have any excuse for his behavior. He's just bored. We haven't had a case in a couple weeks and while he's been on plenty of dates, none of them have made it past the first date before he's bored with them."

"Sounds like we both have it rough," Juliet said.

"Too bad we can't send them off on a date together. That would solve both our problems," Gus joked.

Carlton grabbed Shawn's arm, leaning closer as he no doubt threatened him. To an outside observer, it could look like they were flirting.

Juliet blinked. Holy crap, they _were_ flirting! Why had she never seen that before? "Gus, is Shawn bi?"

"What? Why do you ask?" Gus crossed his arms and laughed nervously. "That's ridiculous. Shawn has dated women, you know."

Juliet rolled her eyes. "I know, that's why I asked if he was bi, not gay. Carlton is."

"Carlton is what?" Gus asked.

"Carlton's bi." She shrugged at Gus' stunned expression. "He doesn't really talk about his personal life much but it's not really a secret. I know he's dated a few men since we became partners. His date last night was with a guy."

"Oh." Gus looked at where their two partners were still arguing. "Shawn shares a lot about his dates. Sometimes too much." He shuddered. "Trust me, he's definitely bi."

"Then maybe that's the answer to our problem." She waved at Carlton and Shawn. "Look at them."

Shawn had extracted himself from Carlton's grip and was leaning against the wall. To Juliet, it looked like he was putting himself on display. As they watched, Carlton braced one hand on the wall and leaned forward right into Shawn's face. There wasn't much room separating the two and Juliet half expected them to start kissing any moment.

"All I see is Shawn about to get himself a black eye," Gus said skeptically.

Juliet sighed. "You're not looking at them right. Trust me, this will work. You talk to Shawn, I'll talk to Carlton. I'll make a reservation for Mario's Friday night at eight. By Monday morning, all our problems will be solved."

Shawn was smirking up at Carlton as he spoke, playing with her partner's tie. Carlton batted his hands away, then grabbed them and held them against Shawn's sides.

Gus shook his head. "Twenty bucks says Lassiter ditches Shawn at the restaurant."

Carlton let go of one of Shawn's hands to poke him in the chest. Shawn reached up and grabbed it. Carlton leaned slightly towards Shawn, neither man saying anything for a moment. Then Carlton jerked his hand away. He gave Shawn one final shove against the wall and stormed off.

Juliet grinned. "You're on."

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><p>Juliet waited until Shawn had been gone for over an hour before broaching the subject with Carlton. "How was your date last night?"<p>

Her partner scowled at her. "I don't want to talk about it."

"Come on. I know you're in a crappy mood. Maybe talking would help," Juliet prodded.

Carlton sighed. "I thought it was going well until he went to the bathroom during the meal and never came back. When I went to look for him, I found him fucking our waitress."

Juliet winced. "Carlton, I'm so sorry."

Carlton shrugged. "I'll get over it. I left him with the bill, after I ordered champagne for every couple in the place."

"How devious," Juliet said approvingly. "That's almost like something Shawn would come up with."

Carlton grimaced. "Please don't compare me to that fraud."

Juliet let him work on his paperwork in peace for a few minutes. "So I guess you don't have any plans for Friday night."

Carlton looked at her warily. "Why?"

"There's a guy I think you would really hit it off with," Juliet said.

Carlton shook his head. "I don't need you to set me up on a blind date. I'm not that desperate."

"I never said you were," Juliet said consolingly. "I just think you and this guy – "

"I said no, O'Hara, and that's final," Carlton said firmly.

Juliet huffed. This was not going as planned. She needed to find a way to get Carlton to the restaurant. "I'll pay for dinner."

"O'Hara – "

"Please just think about," Juliet said, interrupting him before he could argue some more. "I really think you'll like him."

Carlton closed his file and clasped his hands in front of him with his elbows resting on his desk. She waited patiently as he dutifully regarded her offer, knowing anything she said now would only hurt, not help. "What time?"

"Eight o'clock at Mario's," Juliet said. "So you'll go?"

"Yes. I'll go on the date provided you pay for the meal." Carlton unclasped his hands and opened his file again. "That way when he bails on me, I won't have to worry about footing the bill."

"Trust me Carlton, he won't run out on you," Juliet promised. Shawn would never pass up a free meal, not to mention the chance to spend time with Carlton. She was more worried about Carlton leaving once he saw who his date was but she would pass that hurdle when she came to it.

She waited until Carlton was distracted before sending out a quick text to Gus. One down, one to go.

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><p>"Heads up!"<p>

Gus ducked as a waded up ball of paper flew past his head. "Shawn, I'm trying to work!"

"And I'm trying to score 300 points at wastebasketball." Another ball of paper flew across the room and bounced off the wall above his head before going through the hoop over the wastebasket. "Yahoo! 20 points!"

"Do you have to throw that over my head?" Gus asked.

"It's worth more points that way." Shawn groaned when Gus reached up and caught the next ball tossed at him. "Dude, that just cost me five points."

"I don't care. Bounce the balls off something else." Gus tossed the ball towards the wastebasket and grinned when it went in.

"Fine." Gus was able to work quietly for a couple of minutes before there was a crash from the other side of the room. "Oops!"

Gus sighed and closed his laptop. "I'll get the dust pan."

Once they had cleaned up the mess (a small ornamental cow figurine that a client had given them that had been perched on top of the fridge), they both returned to their desks. Gus reopened his laptop and Shawn grabbed a stress toy (the kind whose eyes bulged and tongue shot out when you squeezed it) off his desk.

His phone vibrated with a text from Juliet. _**Carlton's on board. How about Shawn?**_

Gus sighed. This whole thing was a bad idea but he couldn't back out now and disappoint Juliet. Plus, there was twenty dollars at stake.

"Who's that?" Shawn asked.

"Juliet." He put his phone down and looked over at Shawn. "Are you still going out with that girl? Trish, I think it was."

Shawn shook his head. "Nah, she was just trying to make another guy jealous."

"What about Keith?"

"Went back to Chicago." Shawn tilted his head, looking at Gus suspiciously. "Why are you so interested in my sex life all of a sudden?"

"Trust me, I'm not," Gus said quickly. He had learned his lesson after asking Shawn how his date with the yoga instructor went. The mental images still gave him nightmares. "I just wanted to know if you were seeing anyone."

"Not right now." Shawn raised an eyebrow. "Is this about the text you just got from Jules?" He dropped the stress toy and looked at Gus eagerly. "Does she want to go on a date?"

"No." Shawn pouted, slumping back in his chair. "Stop moping, you didn't have a chance with her anyway. But it _is_ about the text."

"Well, spit it out, man," Shawn said when Gus didn't say anything else.

"There's someone Juliet wants to set you up with," Gus said slowly.

Shawn made a face. "Gus, you know how I feel about blind dates."

"I know, but she's positive this guy is your type," Gus said.

"Wait, a guy? How does Jules know I like guys?" Shawn gave him an accusing look.

Gus winced. "It may have come up during a conversation at the station today."

"This is why I don't tell you things," Shawn complained. "You can't keep a secret."

"What are you talking about? You tell me everything," Gus said. More than he ever wanted to know, if he was being honest. "And for your information, she figured it out on her own. I just confirmed she was right."

"I don't tell you _everything_," Shawn muttered. He grabbed his stress toy, squeezing it slowly. "So are you going to tell me what he's like?" he asked, poking the toy's tongue.

"I thought you didn't like blind dates," Gus said blandly. Inside he was cheering. It wouldn't be long until Shawn agreed to go and he was on his way to being twenty dollars richer.

"I'm curious now," Shawn said nonchalantly, though inside Gus knew he was frothing at the mouth to find out who he was. "Juliet must have told you something about him. Is he tall? Dark hair? Skinny?" For a horrible moment, Gus thought Shawn had figured out who it was. "Or is he short and heavy with blonde hair? Is he nice? What Breakfast Club character does he see himself as?" Shawn waved a hand. "Chime in at any time."

"All you need to know is that Juliet thinks you like him and for some reason he likes you back," Gus said.

"She thinks I 'like' him, not that I 'will like' him?" Shawn asked. "That implies that I know who he is and if she and I both know him you must know him too." He slammed a hand down on his desk. "I demand to know who he is."

Damn Shawn for being so perceptive. An average person might not have noticed the slip but of course he had to be talking to someone trained to be a cop since birth. "If you know, it won't be a blind date," Gus said. "Besides, it wouldn't be fair. He won't know who you are either."

"Gus, come on," Shawn whined. "Tell me."

Maybe he could use his slip to his advantage. "You want to find out, go on the date," Gus said. "Mario's, this Friday at eight."

Shawn gave him a long look. Gus held steady, determined not to cave to his friend this time. "Fine," Shawn said, tossing his toy on the desk. "Tell Jules I'll go."

Gus texted Juliet, his triumph at convincing Shawn to go slowly turning into guilt. He was only doing this to win a bet. He completely believed this date was going to be a disaster. Was that really fair to Shawn?

A paper ball bounced off Gus' head and into the trash bin. "50 points!"

Yep, totally fair.


End file.
